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Liturgy/Ritual Resources
Prayers/Readings for Services and Holidays
When I was a little boy - Transgender Prayer
Resource type Liturgy/Ritual
Description/Summary This excerpt from Congregation Beth Simchat Torah’s new Siddur B’chol L’vav’cha, is part reflection, part prayer, and part thanksgiving. Jillian Weiss explores themes of being a transgender child with the courage to not disappoint God and to be true to herself. Think about adding this prayer to services on Transgender Day of Remembrance, during Transgender Pride Shabbat or any service that is celebrating God’s awesome creation in the world.
Excerpt This is the full selection, reproduced with permission from the author, Jillian Weiss.

“When I was a little boy, I prayed to God. I prayed God would make me a girl because I knew I wasn’t really a boy, not inside. I didn’t want to keep pretending to be a boy because it was hard to pretend all the time. I knew I couldn’t go on forever pretending like that. It made me very tired and sad. I wondered why God would want me to be tired and sad every day. But I tried hard not to disappoint God.

One morning, after praying like this for many years, I woke up and God had changed me. God changed my tiredness into courage. God gave me the courage to tell the truth. God gave me the courage to tell people that I wasn’t a boy, even thought it made some people laugh and some people get mad.

God’s courage has made me happy. God’s courage has taught me to love myself. God’s courage lets my outside be like my inside. God’s courage gives me the gift of honesty. God is Truth.

I thank God for giving me the courage to tell the truth. I thank God for giving me the courage to be me.

Thank you God, for creating the whole infinitely complex universe and for creating the infinitely complex me.”
Additional notes For more information about the CBST Siddur, click here.

Visit CBST’s website

Posted with permission of the author.
Author Jillian Weiss
Publication name/source Siddur B’chol L’vav’cha
Publication date 2009
Disseminating organization/ institution Congregation Beth Simchat Torah
Publisher/ producer/ broadcaster Congregation Beth Simchat Torah
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